


With the Whole World Watching

by Engie_Ivy



Series: Crush Confessions! [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Boys In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Walburga Black's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:48:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24551848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Engie_Ivy/pseuds/Engie_Ivy
Summary: Now with the Howler already starting to smoke on his plate, Sirius realises he made a huge, huge mistake.Life tip:If you want to keep your secret crush a secret, do not tell your disapproving mother about it, if she has the tendency to send you Howlers when especially angry.Just one of those things Sirius Black learned the hard way.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Crush Confessions! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1782475
Comments: 20
Kudos: 342





	With the Whole World Watching

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> Just some short and sweet (well, except for Sirius' mum) Hogwarts fluff this time!  
> Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think.  
> I'm thinking about making this a series of unrelated short stories about all sorts of crush confessions (Wolfstar themed).  
> Come find me on Tumblr as Engie-Ivy!

Sirius knows he’s a goner as he watches Remus from across the breakfast table, reading a book while absentmindedly eating toast with chocolate spread. As Remus scratches his face and smudges chocolate on his cheek, Sirius can’t phantom what he did in his life to deserve to spend every day with this boy. Remus glances at him, and blushes and averts his gaze when he meets Sirius’ eyes. Sirius, who is not about to waste an opportunity like this, takes a napkin and leans over the table. “You have some chocolate…” He says as he gently wipes the smudge from Remus’ cheek. “Right here.” Remus blushes even more furiously, making him look even more adorable. “There, all gone.” Sirius withdraws the napkin, but he keeps leaning over the table and places his hand on top of Remus’. Remus smiles softly at him.

"Oi, you two don’t wait for us anymore?” Sirius and Remus both retract their hands from the table at the same time and sit back on the bench as James shoves Sirius aside to sit next to him and starts piling up food on his plate, while Peter takes a seat next to Remus. “We figured you could find the way to the Great Hall yourselves by now” Sirius replies, as he and Remus exchange one last look.

That’s how it’s been between them for the past few weeks. Lingering looks and glancing at each other, looking away and blushing when they catch the other watching. Tentative touches, sitting unnecessarily close together, a hand on the other’s arm or shoulder, holding each other’s hand when one of them is feeling especially brave and no one else is around. At one occasion, Sirius had placed his head on Remus’ shoulder as they were sitting in the common room, and Remus had his arm wrapped around him. The memory alone makes Sirius feel warm and fuzzy.

There is something between them, Sirius is sure of it. Unfortunately, that ‘something’ is still very much unidentified. Neither of them talks about it, both still trying to figure out what it is and where it’s going. Although by now Sirius is pretty sure that for him the answers to those questions are a massive crush that is not going anywhere. Still, he doesn’t want to pressure Remus and wants to give him as much time as he needs to decide what it is to him. In the meantime, he doesn’t want to put any unnecessary pressure on it by having any of their classmates notice before they understand it themselves, and to be honest, it feels nice having this, whatever it is, between just the two of them.

Well, that lasts until mail arrives.

Sirius blinks as suddenly a letter lands on his plate. He feels the colour draining from his face as he immediately recognises the thick, red envelop. Oh no. Oh no, no, no.

Now Sirius is no stranger to Howlers. It’s as shame they combust in flames, really, or he’d have had a nice collection. A natural consequence of his own fondness of pissing off his mother and his mother’s fondness of loudly announcing to the world that the Noble House of Black strongly disapproves of their eldest son’s behaviour. Sirius got his first Howler not long after being sorted in Gryffindor. His newfound friends had looked at him with shock and pity, but Sirius had climbed on top of the Gryffindor table and made a toast with his pumpkin juice to ‘the greatest disappointment the Black family had ever faced in their ancient history’, as his mother had so nicely put it. The Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables had clapped and cheered. Sirius wears his parents’ insults like honorary titles and wears them with pride.

This time, however, he's absolutely freaking out, the memory of his last argument with his mother still fresh in his mind.

"Where are you going?” His mother crosses her arms across her chest and glares at him. Oh, if looks could kill... Well, then Sirius would have never made it past the age of two. “James’,” Sirius answers, attempting to keep the conversation short so he can get out as fast as possible. His mother’s gaze flickers over to his trunk. “You staying there?” “Yes. Remus and I are spending the last week of the holidays at the Potter’s place.” “Remus Lupin?” His mother’s eyes narrow. “I heard his father is an impoverished wizard who can’t keep a job and bred with a muggle.” “His father is indeed a wizard who fell in love and started a family with a muggle lady, yes.” “Disgusting. Like it isn’t bad enough they let people without magical bloodline into our community, it’s simply revolting some witches or wizards would actually voluntarily breed with muggles. You would choose to spend your time with blood traitors and filthy half-blood scum over your own family?” Sirius raises his head and gives her a defiant look. “In a heartbeat.”

He walks over to the fireplace trying to ignore his mother, but her shrieking voice is impossible to block out. “You think you’re so smart, antagonizing your own family. But what are you going to do after school, when those so-called friends are in the past, and you’ll need to find a wealthy, pureblood girl to marry and start the next generation of the Black bloodline? Who do you think will still want you when you earn such a shameful and embarrassing reputation for yourself?” Sirius tightens his grip on his trunk and keeps walking toward the fireplace. “I don’t care about that,” he says through gritted teeth. “Stupid boy, you’re throwing away your future because you feel the need to act rebellious at school. Think about the rest of your life!” Sirius is already standing in front of the fireplace, , all he needs to do is step inside and disappear, but instead he turns to his mother. “You know, Remus Lupin, that ‘filthy half-blood scum’ as you called him, well, actually I want to spend the rest of my life with him. So you see, mother, I don’t care about any wealthy, pureblood girl, as I’m already in love with an ‘impoverished’ half-blood bloke.”

At that time, Sirius had definitely thought the expression on his mother’s face was completely worth it, but now with the Howler already starting to smoke on his plate, Sirius realises he made a huge, huge mistake. Sirius is frozen in place, wide-eyed staring at the letter. Slytherins are already nudging each other and pointing at him, getting ready to enjoy the show. Some Gryffindors are giving him wary looks. James, Remus and Peter look at him with concern, as their friend is never this fazed by his mother’s Howlers. “You okay, mate?” James asks. “You know you have to open that, right?” Sirius swallows. “Yeah.” And with shaking hands he opens the envelop.

SIRIUS ORION BLACK,

IT IS TRULY ASTONISHING HOW YOU HAVE MADE DISAPPOINTING YOUR FAMILY INTO AN ART FORM.

Well, at least she starts off with a compliment, that’s nice.

FROM THE DAY YOU WERE BORN, YOU HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT SELFISH AND UNGRATEFUL, SHOWING NO RESPECT FOR THE ESTEEMED VALUES OUR FAMILY STANDS FOR. WE TRIED OUR BEST TO RAISE YOU AS A PROPER SON AND HEIR, BUT YOU HAVE CONTINUOUSLY LET US DOWN AND BROUGHT NOTHING BUT SHAME TO OUR FAMILY.

All right, nothing new, so far so good.

IT MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH THAT YOU WOULD CHOOSE TO SPEND YOUR TIME WITH THAT BLOOD TRAITOR,

James lifts his cup. “Cheers Wally, love you too!”

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH A LESSER CALLIBER OF WIZARDS, AND DISREPECT THOSE OF BETTER DESCENT.

Please, Sirius hopes, maybe his mother had the common sense to not shout _that_ across the Great Hall.

BUT TO HEAR YOU WANT TO LIVE YOUR LIFE IN SODOMY!

And there it is. Sirius should have known he was mistaken when he began that thought with ‘maybe his mother had the common sense’. From the corner of his eyes he sees James, Remus and Peter stare in mild shock. Sirius wonders if this can get much worse.

YOU MIGHT NOT CARE ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR DEFIANT BEHAVIOR, BUT YOU HAVE YOUR FAMILY’S NAME AND REPUTATION TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT! THE MERE NOTION THAT YOU WILL CHOOSE A BOY FROM AN INFERIOR FAMILY, BIRTHED BY A MUGGLE NO LESS, OVER A RESPECTABLE MARRIAGE IS SIMPLY UNACCEPTABLE.

Well, that answers that question.

I AM WARNING YOU, YOU INSOLENT BOY, WE WILL HAVE TO RETHINK YOUR POSITION WITHIN THIS FAMILY AND YOUR RIGHT TO INHERIT, IF YOU DO NOT RECONSIDER YOUR OUTRAGEOUS CLAIM TO BE IN LOVE WITH THAT FILTHY HALF-BLOOD.

The Howler goes up in flames, and for just a second it is dead silent in the Great Hall, then the buzz starts. Whispers and stares, and even loud laughing from the Slytherin side. “Well,” Sirius says to his friends, while getting up from the table. “As lovely as this was, I have to go and... not be here.” And with every pair of eyes in the whole school on him, Sirius dashes out the Great Hall.

"So...” James leans against the doorframe of the dormitory. “Rumour has it you’re planning on spending your future living in sodomy with a certain half-blood boy?” Sirius groans and presses his head further into his pillow. “I reckon he knows?” “It was quite obvious,” James says as he flops down on the bed across from Sirius’. “But he’s also quite oblivious, so honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if literally the whole school figured it out, except for Moony.” James chuckles (Really? In this time of despair?). “He’s probably freaking out right now thinking you’re in love with some mysterious boy with a muggle mum none of us have ever met!” Sirius looks up at him in horror. Well, he definitely can’t have that! “I should go talk to him.” “I’d strongly recommend that approach,” James smirks. “Get your arse out of bed, be a Gryffindor, and go get your man!” Sirius just rolls his eyes as the drags himself out of bed and walks towards the door. “Oh, and Padfoot?” James says, right as Sirius is about to step outside. “You know your mother is shite, right? There’s nothing wrong with, well... any of it. And the gay thing doesn’t matter, like at all.” Sirius smiles at him. “Yeah, Prongs. I know.”

Sirius steps outside the common room, trying to look indifferent with everyone’s eyes on him. Remus seems to have been pacing the hallway, and the moment he sees Sirius he comes flying at him. “Sirius!” Sirius ignores the catcalls and whistles around them and smiles nervously at Remus. Remus just looks at him with concern. “ I was just... I mean, Prongs said he’d go talk to you, so I thought I’d... Are you okay? That was harsh. She’s all wrong, you know. You don’t have to change anything about who you are, you’re fine the way you are, you’re actually pretty great.” Sirius stares at him in a sort of awe-induced haze, completely forgetting what he actually came to say. “And don’t worry about the revelation of your... preferences,” Remus continues. “The only ones acting shitty about it were some Slytherins, but more because they hate your guts anyway, so, really, that’s all good.” Remus rubs the back of his neck. “Though I can imagine this is not how you wanted to come out.” Sirius huffs a laugh. “Definitely not. I was actually hoping that by December you’d agree to be my date to the Yule ball, and we could dazzle everybody by showing up together.” Remus gapes at him, his mouth slightly open. “You mean... You’d want... With m-me?”

Oh Merlin, James was right, and that is rarely a good thing. Well, all cards on the table then. “Yes, of course you, Moony. I know this... announcement was way too much way too soon, but these last few weeks I’ve been feeling like there is something here.” Sirius gestures vaguely between the two of them. “Maybe I’ve been imagining things, or wrongly interpreting the situation, but I know that at least I have been having these feelings that are not just friendship.” Remus blushes and looks down at the ground. “I mean, it’s not that I haven’t... felt anything. I always feel elated and flustered around you. I’ve been trying not to fool myself, I guess. You’re just so-” He gestures at Sirius. “Wildly out of my league.” “Moony,” Sirius says in a voice not tolerating any contradiction. “Even just getting to be friends with you makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world.” Remus gives him a small smile, but it’s not exactly a happy smile. “I’d get it though, after that Howler, if you’ve changed your mind and don’t want anything more than friendship anymore,” Remus says. “If you don’t want to piss your mother off.” Sirius just stares at him and raises an eyebrow. Remus blinks. “Right,” he says. “Okay, yeah, now that I'm saying it out loud, I hear the error.” Sirius snorts and they both start to laugh.

"Did you really tell your mother you’re in love with me?” Remus suddenly asks. “Yes.” “Why?” Sirius rolls his eyes. “Because, Moony, I thought it would be a lovely romantic gesture for you to hear that for the first time shouted around the Great Hall by my bigoted mother.” Remus shoves him lightly. “I really don’t know!” Sirius laughs. “Because I am an idiot who never learned to think before he acts? That can’t be news to you.” “But did you-” “Mean it? Yeah, I would never say that without meaning it. Not even to her.” Sirius reaches out and takes Remus’ hand.

"Careful, Black, there goes your inheritance!” Some random passer-by feels the need to comment. Remus flushes and retracts his hand. Sirius’ stomach drops as he remembers that not only Remus knows, but the whole school. Remus hates being the centre of attention, this must be a nightmare for him. The thing between them was just starting to grow, and now Sirius might have crushed it by putting this pressure on it. “I’m really sorry, Moony. Like I said, I’m an idiot. I should have just kept my mouth shut, I had no right to put you on the spot like this. I can just keep my distance, for as long as you need me to, and then I’m sure people will forget about it and stop talking about it. Please, don’t feel obligated to do anything. You don’t-” Sirius stops talking, for the simple reason that his brain loses the ability to form words as it short-circuits, as Remus presses his lips against his. “I don’t want you to keep any distance,” Remus says softly with his face still so impossibly close. “I’d like to try. With you. With us.” As the capacity to form words does not seem to be returning any time soon, Sirius decides the best answer is to kiss Remus again.

"Oh no, the sodomy!” Sirius pulls back from Remus to glare at James. “Wotcher, Prongs.” “Wotcher, Pads,” James says cheerfully. “Just on my way to Charms. See you guys there, if you two make it to class today,” he adds with a wink. “Merlin, I can’t believe I’m going to have to thank _your mother_ in my best man speech!”

Sirius goes back to kissing, but this time Remus pulls away. “Wait, wait! You’re not just dating me _because_ it pisses off your mother, are you?” Sirius barks out a laugh. “Rem, I’m dating you because you’re the kindest person I know and somehow managed to make me feel like I’m not completely worthless, while at the same time, you have this wicked sense of humour and can make me laugh no matter what, and I’m just absolutely smitten with you. Believe me, my mother hating your guts is just one of the many, many benefits of dating you.”


End file.
